The Goal

The first player to end his or her turn with 20 or more points wins! For a longer game, play to 30 or more. For a shorter game... let's go ride bikes!

Setup

Remove the three cards from the deck that make up the board. They have a white border with an A, a B, and a C at the bottom. Lay out the three board cards face up next to each other with the A card on the left, the B in the middle and the C on the right.

Shuffle the deck and deal four cards to each player.

Lay one card from the deck onto the board. Make sure the letter at the bottom of the card matches its position on the board. That is, an A card goes on top of the A board card, a B card on the B board card, and a C on the C.

You will need some counters (beads, pennies, dice, etc) to keep track of points.

Choose which player will go first. That player follows the instructions listed under "Your Turn" and play continues clockwise after that.

Your Turn

Play proceeds clockwise, starting with the first player. Your turn consists of four parts:

1. Trading a card

2. Playing a card

3. Collecting points

4. Drawing a card

1. Trading a card can be done in one of two ways. The first, is to discard a card from your hand and draw a new card from the deck. If you ever draw the last card in the deck, shuffle the discard pile to make a new deck.

The second way is slightly more complicated, but much more fun. Start by choosing a card in your hand and laying it face down on the table. Then ask one of your opponents one of the two following questions:

"Do you have any (green / yellow / orange / red) cards?"

"Do you have any (A / B / C) cards?"

Your opponent must answer truthfully. Next, she or he must give you an appropriate card if she or he has one (e.g. a green card if you asked for green, or an A card if you asked for an A card), otherwise your opponent must choose any card from his or her hand to give you. Then she or he must take the card that you left on the table.

2. Playing a card is done by laying one card from your hand onto the board, making sure that the card's letter matches its position on the board. You may lay your card on an empty space or on top of another card that has already been played.

Together, all three visible cards now make a German insult. Read your German insult out loud and laugh!

The second line of text on each card is a pronunciation key. Use this if it helps.

When reading the pronunciation key, always try to pronounce each word as if it were English. So, if you see fair-PISS dish, just say the English words 'fair,' 'piss' and 'dish' with the emphasis on the word 'piss' because it is capitalized. The letters -uh sound like the first vowel in the word 'about.' German adjectives (i.e. B cards) change when they are with different nouns (i.e. C cards), so read the first bit of text on the C card as the end of the last word on the B card.

And remember, it's just a game, so you will probably have a bit of an accent, but you can rest assured that German speakers will understand and be offended by what you are saying.

3. Collecting points happens when two or three cards on the board match in color. Each card has a point value listed near the bottom left corner.

'Get X' means that you collect that many points from the bank.

'Steal 1' means that you choose an opponent and steal one point from him or her. If the opponent you choose has no points, you do not get anything, and the chosen opponent does not lose anything. After laying down a card, check if any of the cards in play match in color.

If none of the cards on the board match in color: You get no points.

If two of the cards match (even if the two matching cards were already on the board before you laid your card): Collect the points listed on the two matching cards.

If all three cards match in color: Collect the points listed on all three cards on the board, and discard all the cards from the board (but leave the board itself). Then put a new card from the deck onto the board in its appropriate position (i.e. A, B or C). If you ever draw the last card in the deck, shuffle the discard pile to make a new deck.

4. Drawing a card is done at the end of your turn. Draw a card from the deck, making sure that you again have four cards in your hand. If you ever draw the last card in the deck, shuffle the discard pile to make a new deck.

Drawing a card ends you turn. Play continues clockwise with the player to your left.

The Four Colors

The background color of each card indicates approximately how offensive the words on the card are:

Green will get you laughed at.

Yellow will get you dirty looks.

Orange will get you fired.

Red will get you beat up.

Designed by Stuart Gorman

Special thanks to Robi Mookerji for extensive help with layout and artwork